Letters to our children: Calgary Avansino
Grace Mothers: A collection of thought-provoking letters written by mothers from all over the world to their children. In each letter, we hear about individual motherhood journeys – and no two stories are the same. In this extract, Wellbeing Expert and Author Calgary Avansino pens a wonderfully wise letter to her children Ava, Margot and Remy
When it comes to health and wellbeing, the glamorous former British Vogue contributing editor, author of cookbook Keep It Real, and mother of three knows a thing or two about achieving balance after babies. Calgary is also refreshingly honest about the fact that there’s no magic bullet to achieving the elusive balance we’re all striving for…
Dear Ava, Margot and Remy,
Don’t waste a moment of this spectacular life! You could have been a million other DNA sequences, but you’re not. You’re magically you – exactly as you are meant to be, and one of your most important jobs is to maintain a deep connection to that ‘you-ness’. You were profoundly wanted and are intensely cherished just as you are. Hold that belief tight.
Before I carried you, I didn’t have an emotional connection with the notion of unconditional love. It’s still not something I can define or explain rationally, but it’s something I feel unequivocally. It washes over me every day, often at the most unexpected times.
You came from me and we are tied inextricably; but it’s not about me. The beauty is your independence and you forging your own unique space in this world. I am simply here to listen, to gently guide, to support and to throw love in your direction at every opportunity.
It’s usually not until the end of our lives that we truly understand the fragility and velocity of our time here, but if I were to pass on any advice from the years I have lived it would be this:
- Try not to wish away tough times, cold days or tedious hours. The pace of life is fast enough, so attempt to find presence in everyday moments.
- Love wildly with your whole heart – embrace the bruises and continue to be amazed by love’s resilience.
- Laugh as often as you can, cry whenever you need to and turn up the music and dance. Dance alone, dance with others, dance in private, dance in public – just dance. Rein in your self-consciousness and let your soul move.
- Focus on moving forward; don’t let past experiences, failures or negative memories paralyze you. Instead, use them as opportunities to practise perseverance and propel yourself in a positive direction.
- You’re going to have failures and setbacks – they are life’s guaranteed gift with purchase. The sooner you accept the waves of peacefulness and turbulence, the more equilibrium you’ll feel navigating the human experience.
- Drop perfection from the equation – it will only torture you.
- Smile at yourself in the mirror at least once a day. You are special, valued and treasured.
- Remember to tell your mom you love her, too
Love and hugs, Mommy
A collection of thought-provoking letters written by mothers from all over the world to their children, Grace Mothers features over 60 extraordinary women from different fields and is both an intimate insight into the joys and tribulations of motherhood and a celebration of mothers and their children everywhere. Honest, inspiring, occasionally surprising, often funny and frequently poignant, they capture the essence of what motherhood means for each writer. This is the coffee table book for mothers of all ages to treasure, enjoy and come back to time and again. See more…